This article is taken from Kristen Thalheimer, a business and personal coach I know from Boston. It’s a simple but great reminder that change can be GOOD, and is often the key to happiness (few of us are actually happy with every single thing in our life, as is). This certainly applies to my area of expertise – after all, changing your fitness level or health status is not easy. The trick is to not let the scary element STOP you….
Eat, Pray, Love, and Get Unstuck. . . just outside your door
Sure, it would be great to travel to another country (or three) the way Elizabeth Gilbert does in Eat, Pray, Love to pursue your own personal “search for everything.” If you haven’t read the book or seen the movie, Gilbert felt stuck in her marriage, and then, wow, she got herself really unstuck by signing a book deal and traveling for a year to Italy, India, and Indonesia. Thankfully, however, if you’re on your own personal search, you don’t have to go that far. Your own proverbial backyard can provide an abundance of un-sticking opportunities.
A lot of people feel stuck because, as they tell me, they don’t know what to do next. They have a good job, but not great. Or, they have a relationship, but it’s not exactly the one. And then, sadly, the years go by. And still their job/relationship/life is good, but not great.
But here’s the good news: You don’t have to know THE answer to start your “search for everything,” you only have to DO something. One little something. But best – take a deep breath – if you do that little something that scares you.
What kinds of scary? I don’t mean the kind of scary such as getting over a fear of spiders (my phobia) or a fear of heights. I do mean those things that stand out as exciting and scary at the same time. Search your mind and your heart for the nexus of exciting and scary, and that’s where the gold is.
What might that little something be for you? Here’s a list of things that might sound exciting and scary. Remember, start small; then go big.
Travel by yourself: not necessarily to India, but how about to the next town, or to a city two hours away by car? Rent a car, book a hotel room. Walk, shop, and yes, eat by yourself. One hour? One day? One week? Whatever you can do.
Take a class: medieval history, knitting, calculus, car repair.
Do something physical: a long-distance walk, guided sea kayaking, kick-boxing.
Make something: build a table, refinish furniture, start a garden, paint.
By doing anything, big or small, which is different from your usual routine, you do several things at once:
You build a new neural pathway in your brain, i.e. you learn something new.
You prove to yourself you can do it, i.e., build confidence.
While your mind is occupied with one enjoyable thing, it can actually work on other unrelated questions, i.e., what’s my next life step.
You open yourself up to unexpected new ideas.
This last one is key to why this connects with getting unstuck. When you invite new people and new situations into your life, you get to say whether you like it or not; whether it sparks something in you. Follow the spark. It is the magic that tells you to keep going (or not). Sooner than you think, you may be onto that path that takes you from a good life to a great life.
Elizabeth Gilbert’s year of traveling is a story about having personal faith, taking some risks, and doing what her heart tells her to do. Finding your path need only start with the same faith in yourself and just a little step outside your door.
